I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
