i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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