She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
