She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
