I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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