Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
