You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
