Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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