And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
