i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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