She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
