i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
