Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
