About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What a dumb baby whore.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
