dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
