I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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