you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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