just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize