I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
