its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
