Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
