maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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