There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
