i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
