There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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