Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize