went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
