what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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