I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
