You're my little dorito
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
