You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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