I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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