Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
