I hate your face
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
