im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
