Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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