i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
