before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
