I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
