You smell like stripper and shame
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
