My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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