What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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