Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
