When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
