At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sarcasm needs its own font
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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