He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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