ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
