I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
