he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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