i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
