Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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