And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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