What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
