I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
