"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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