So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
