Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
