You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
