Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
