she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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