I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
